Today, we return to an age old topic.\u00c2\u00a0 Not my age, per se, though the number fits.<\/p>\n
No, no…recently I think I set a personal record.\u00c2\u00a0 I really would rather not have.<\/p>\n
That is to say… egads, but I really detest mosquitoes.<\/p>\n
Yesterday was Autumn Equinox, a national holiday in Japan.\u00c2\u00a0 The first day of Fall.
\nOn the night of the Last Day of Summer,\u00c2\u00a0 I was visited by the friendly mosquitoes of Kansai, en masse.\u00c2\u00a0 It seems they heard I was leaving and needed to get their last sips of type-O-Audrey before…<\/p>\n
a) it gets too cold and they DIE<\/p>\n
b) I leave their sorry sucker butts behind<\/p>\n
I was, you know, trying to sleep.\u00c2\u00a0 But then I realized my leg (it was hot so I was halfway under blankets) was itching, and there was this all-too-familiar-whine.\u00c2\u00a0 The last day of summer being … summer, it was too hot to hide under the blankets.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 So I had to either try to sleep while knowing I would be eaten alive, or do something about it.\u00c2\u00a0 The former proved impossible, the latter merely torturous.<\/p>\n
Really, twenty seven is a bit much. At some point, you just have to start scratching.\u00c2\u00a0 And why DO some swell up, and others just turn into little bumps, and why do they all look like weird bruises to start with?\u00c2\u00a0 And why do the bruises swell in weird shapes and lines at first, but always end up round?\u00c2\u00a0 How quickly do mosquitoes digest, anyhow?\u00c2\u00a0 I mean, wouldn’t they run out of space?\u00c2\u00a0 Do they pee?\u00c2\u00a0 Sweat out the liquid and then come back for more blood cells?\u00c2\u00a0 Yet it’s very clear that one bug can bite you (me) multiple times, which makes me wonder why they don’t just get their fill the first time.<\/p>\n
On another note, the previous trend to my left leg seems to have evened out, as my right ankle alone sports five itchy spots.<\/p>\n
I succeeded in taking four of them with me.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m rather proud of this, as the killing happened between twelve and 3am, without turning on the lights (though I did put on my glasses).\u00c2\u00a0 See, you hold your arms up as bait, and with the non-bait arm, crush the bugs when they land. \u00c2\u00a0 It’s very disconcerting to hear the whine\/buzz and KNOW that they’re lurking out there, circling, waiting. But when they settle for the kill, oh…you’ve got em.<\/p>\n
You think that waiting for mosquitoes to land so you can smack ’em is gross?<\/p>\n
It’s even grosser when they die with a wet “pop” instead of a quiet smoosh.\u00c2\u00a0 Then, you realize …this one was coming back for seconds.\u00c2\u00a0 And feel kind of grosser than normal.<\/p>\n
Um…right.\u00c2\u00a0 So this season ends 27:4, victory to the home team.\u00c2\u00a0 Alas.\u00c2\u00a0 I am completely baffled as to why no one else in that house (3 other tasty tasty morsels) got chomped on.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 In semi-related news, an unrelated visit to a traditional medicine shop the following day revealed that I may get eaten more because I am fat and like sweet things.\u00c2\u00a0 Riiight.\u00c2\u00a0 Thanks lady.\u00c2\u00a0 (My friend was advised to eat dessicated turtle carcass for her general weak constitution and stomach troubles.\u00c2\u00a0 Apparently, dessicated turtle changes you from the inside so that you actually glow, to the point that you stand out from the crowd, even in photographs. Or, you can just apply makeup that’s slightly too white for your actual skin color, and try to justify the sale of $80 dead turtle.)<\/p>\n
I would like to conclude by reasserting my undying love for fall. As leaves turn golden, and air turns crisp, I imagine the silent death cries of my tiny nemeses. Such a lovely silence. So different from that obnoxious, sleep-destroying buzz.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today, we return to an age old topic.\u00c2\u00a0 Not my age, per se, though the number fits. No, no…recently I think I set a personal record.\u00c2\u00a0 I really would rather not have. That is to say… egads, but I really detest mosquitoes. Yesterday was Autumn Equinox, a national holiday in Japan.\u00c2\u00a0 The first day of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WqcV-3c","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.audreyy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/198","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.audreyy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.audreyy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.audreyy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.audreyy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=198"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.audreyy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/198\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":199,"href":"http:\/\/www.audreyy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/198\/revisions\/199"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.audreyy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.audreyy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.audreyy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}